Current:Home > InvestPeople are talking to their dead loved ones – and they can't stop laughing. It's a refreshing trend. -AssetTrainer
People are talking to their dead loved ones – and they can't stop laughing. It's a refreshing trend.
View
Date:2025-04-27 19:23:19
Everyone grieves differently – and if you've spent any time on TikTok in recent days, you might have noticed some unexpected, unusual methods.
Some people – to the tune of millions of likes – are confessing or sharing stories with their dead loved ones directly on social media. In one such video, two sisters laugh through telling their mom what's happened since she died. "We didn't know that we had to file your taxes," one says, stifling a laugh before later breaking into fits of laughter. Another video features two pals keeping their deceased best friend up-to-date on the latest gossip – including Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.
What these videos have in common: smiles instead of frowns. Joy instead of heartbreaking pain. The spilling of secrets instead of spilling of tears.
Grief experts welcome this type of public healing, for both the bereaved and those watching who may learn something in the process. "What I love about it so much is that it normalizes grief, No. 1, but it also shows that grief is so much more than just crying and sadness and laying in your bed and not being able to get up," says Gina Moffa, licensed clinical social worker and author of "Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go." "It shows that the relationship continues. It shows how a relationship continues, it shows that it doesn't all have to be sadness and upset and despair."
TikTok as grief resource? 'Fantastic'
Grief is not one-size-fits-all.
It's "a lifelong process," says Jessica MacNair, licensed professional counselor. "It's not prescriptive, it's not, five stages in order, you move through these, and then you reach the end. It's ongoing, it comes up in varying times. And, in fact, I mean, that's probably one of the main reasons that people come back to therapy."
Any avenue people can discover to work through their grief – that doesn't involve harming others or themselves – is a good idea. Even on social media.
"If somebody finds something that is effective for them, and it helps them feel better, I love that for them," MacNair adds. "And if people can come on TikTok and see something that worked for somebody else and try that for themselves, that's fantastic."
'Wanted to share my experience'
Of course, people also grieve (slightly) more traditionally on TikTok. Devon Faith Hages, for example, shared a more melancholy video earlier this year where she said she sends messages to her dead best friend's cell phone. She sends him a text or Snapchat a few times a year after he visits her in dreams.
"Every time I dream of him, it's very vivid. It's very raw. It's very painful," says the 24-year-old foster care worker. "And they're unlike other dreams that I've had before because he and I actually maintain conversations. And I can feel him touching me and we hug in our dreams."
Her grief emboldens her to reach out: "When I first wake up from these dreams, the grief derails me for my entire day, because they're so real. So pretty much immediately after I wake up, and I'm just sitting in this grief and this pain, I text him."
Why turn to social media to tell her story? She saw others on TikTok posting about their loved ones who died, "texting them or leaving them a voicemail or getting like a random phone call from a phone number of a dead person, of someone that they loved. So I hopped on that and wanted to share my experience."
More on grief:My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
'Just because we laugh doesn't mean we don't miss someone'
No matter how people are grieving on TikTok, one thing is clear, according to Moffa: "People die but relationships don't."
She hopes this TikTok trend continues because each generation must learn to not run away in fear of loss; we can approach grief in our own ways, including through humor.
"Just because we laugh doesn't mean we don't miss someone," she says. "Because we laugh doesn't mean that we're not grieving still."
Keep in mind that grief will manifest in different ways than you imagine over time – often unpredictably so.
"Grief will come when it comes," Moffa says. "And that may mean that you have grief, two years later, that comes up that feels like it's the first time that you're grieving, or some memory will come up. And it will be something that you have to grieve all over again."
Maybe it will involve laughter. Maybe tears. Either way, it keeps a loved one's memory alive.
And maybe that's all that matters, anyway.
If you'd like to share your thoughts on grief with USA TODAY for possible use in a future story, please take this survey here.
Other avenues:Her son died, and she felt alone. In her grief, she found YouTube.
veryGood! (632)
Related
- Former Danish minister for Greenland discusses Trump's push to acquire island
- Federal appellate panel sends Michigan pipeline challenge to state court
- Adobe steered consumers to pricey services and made it hard to cancel, feds say
- U.S. Secret Service member robbed at gunpoint in California during Biden trip
- Spooky or not? Some Choa Chu Kang residents say community garden resembles cemetery
- Taylor Hill Shares She Suffered Devastating Miscarriage After Getting Pregnant While Having an IUD
- Half a million immigrants could eventually get US citizenship under new plan from Biden
- Firefighters gain ground against Southern California wildfire but face dry, windy weather
- Friday the 13th luck? 13 past Mega Millions jackpot wins in December. See top 10 lottery prizes
- Undersea explorers mark a tragic day. Things to know about the Titan disaster anniversary
Ranking
- The Grammy nominee you need to hear: Esperanza Spalding
- Hillary Clinton gets standing ovation in surprise appearance at Tonys: 'Very special'
- Taylor Hill Shares She Suffered Devastating Miscarriage After Getting Pregnant While Having an IUD
- Gamestop shares slump following annual shareholder meeting
- The FTC says 'gamified' online job scams by WhatsApp and text on the rise. What to know.
- If you can’t stay indoors during this U.S. heat wave, here are a few ideas
- Why Brooke Shields Wore Crocs to the 2024 Tony Awards
- GOP claims Trump could win Minnesota, New Jersey, Virginia in 2024 election. Here's what Democrats say.
Recommendation
Off the Grid: Sally breaks down USA TODAY's daily crossword puzzle, Triathlon
Can Florida win Stanley Cup? Panthers vs. Oilers live stream, TV, odds, keys to Game 5
Serena Williams Says Her Confidence Is Coming Back While Getting Stomach-Tightening Procedure
Apple kills off its buy now, pay later service service barely a year after launch
Senate begins final push to expand Social Security benefits for millions of people
Angel Reese, Caitlin Clark downplay impact of controversial flagrant foul
Israeli military says it will begin a daily tactical pause to allow for humanitarian aid into southern Gaza
Newborn baby found abandoned near Texas walking trail